Hey all.
I am happily married to my Thai Wife & our relationship rocks
I get along with her family well.
My sister in law is soon to get married to who appears to be a nice English fellow.
I have deliberately kept my distance from him & not made friends (so I don't know him, never met, just a small face book exchange).
This is because I learned there is a secret involved.
His wife to be (my sister in law) has an autistic son that the groom does not know about.
The secret has been going on for about 7 years now. ( I learned it was a secret about 6 months ago)
My wife hates the secret & looks down on her sister & the older sister who is boss of family, but my wife says we cannot interfere.
"If he is a stupid man, it is not our fault & it is not our business & we cannot do anything" she says.
She says "They are my family, I very don't like them for this secret but I cannot interfere in this & you must not also...please, just try to don't care & forget about it"
She says her sister will never abandon her son for a long period of time.
The marriage & this guys dreams are doomed (unless one day when he learns the lie & can accept it, which I think will be hard work for him to do)
After personally coming to grief in the past, I really feel sorry & genuinely sad for this guy.
I know what it feels like to discover you have been lied to, been fleeced for some big cash over many years, heart smashed to bits, faith in humanity destroyed, the recovery time needed etc
I know it from my previous experience with a previous wife (She was a Vietnamese mafia puppet who did what she needed to do to protect her family).
I have certainly lost respect for both of my sisters in law.
My wife says her parents just go with the flow, because oldest daughter is boss of family.
"Don't think bad of my parents" she says. "remember our wedding & the small amount you paid & everything else they did for us"
She is correct about all of that. They treat me well & have never fleeced me for cash, even small amounts.
Uncles & Aunties etc apparently don't know the secret is a secret.
I can imagine a bombshell blowing this guys world in two at the wedding if that is the case.
(but I think the Aunties & Uncles etc that can speak English will have their silence about the son purchased or demanded)
I really want to warn this guy off.
But I know everyone will know I did it if I do it, because I have already had many conversations with the bride to be, about how wrong it is for her to continue her relationship with this guy with this secret is play.
The evil sisters will know it was me if I do it & so will my wife.
My wife & I have not been told of the wedding because they are afraid we will say something.
We found out the wedding is happening soon just by chance (social media from the groom).
My wife says, "pretend we don't know, we are not meant to know & we don't want to be part of it anyway"
I feel must honor my wife's wishes & stay out of it altogether.
But
It really doesn't feel right to be silent.
I feel like I am part of the deception & any crime of deception that follows for knowing about it & being silent.
I know I will get over it. (hoping it doesn't bring me bad Karma)
I would love to hear some comments / advice about my moral dilemma.